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Bruno Mars, poet

A great singer-songwriter sees insights the rest of us don’t. He defines how we think about a certain time and place. Woody Guthrie. Bob Dylan. Bono. And now, Bruno Mars:

“I’ll be loungin’ on the couch just chillin’ in my Snuggie/
Click to MTV so they can teach me how to Dougie.”

Actually, that’s from a truly terrible song. “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars is an infectious ode to sloth that’s currently #20 on the iTunes singles chart. It’s only insight is that stuff isn’t worth caring about. Prepare for a long summer of hearing this tune everywhere you go:

Why is this song so annoying? Let’s begin with the fact that it’s called “The Lazy Song.” Not much effort went in to thinking up a title. By the first line, our singer is apathetic, incurious, bedridden.

“Today I don’t feel like doing anything. I just wanna lay in my bed.”

At that point, most people would stop singing and roll back to sleep, but Bruno Mars realizes he has a good vibe going, so he starts singing us through his ideal day. Which means…

“I’m gonna kick my feet up and stare at the fan/
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants.”

Fan rhymes with pants? Eh, whatever.

It’s a nice thing when singers pay tribute to other artists in their songs—like Waylon Jennings tipping his hat to Hank Williams, or Eminem throwing props to Dr. Dre. Who does Bruno Mars choose for a shout-out? Cali Swag District (!), the act responsible for unleashing The Dougie on society.

I bet you can listen to every new song for the rest of the year and not hear a rhyme as memorable as Snuggie/Dougie. Just as we were ready to forget the Snuggie and the Dougie ever existed.

Bruno Mars does have one verse where he fantasizes about actually getting something done. He’s going to do some P90X (that’s 3 brands mentioned in a song that’s under 3 minutes long). And he’s going to have “nice sex” with a “nice girl.” And also, college.

There’s a lot of talk these days about how to make America great again. Some people worry that we’re no longer capable of summoning our best efforts to accomplish amazing things. That our brightest young people no longer aspire to help society, that we could never return to the moon, that America’s days as a superpower may be dwindling. For those who feel that way, “The Lazy Song” has one message: You are right. There is no reason to try.

You could call your local radio station and beg them to stop playing this song. But why bother? This is Bruno Mars’ world. The rest of us are just loungin’ in it.

Photo via BrunoMars.com

— By Daryl Lang. Filed under Lyrics

5 comments

  1. John says:

    I couldnt agree with you anymore. His music so generic and is everywhere.

  2. Beki says:

    wow you guys are mean bruno is my favorite. <3 I LLOVE YOU BRUNO

  3. Likka says:

    change your channel then ass. you dont qualify to be a Mars Sars anyway , no ass holes allowed!!!

  4. brendan says:

    he has musical skill but he’s an idiot – his lyrics portray exactly what he thinks and that is very little, immature, inconsiderate, shallow, worthless, uninspiring and unintelligent. I’ve seen society become dumber and dumber and for those of us in the smart world with eyes open, it’s sad to see the deterioration of quality, class and skill. His voice is average at best, he is exactly what the masses want – a prolific writer of poor music. If you studied all genres of music you would see how crap the music of today really is. People, try harder!

  5. Areiah says:

    Bruno Mars, while he is slightly attractive in that 10 beers in sort of way, is disgusting as a person. He is a sellout and carrier of the disease that money spreads.

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